*Micro-form improv. Shorter than short-form improv. A lot shorter than long-form improv.

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Whether it's the branding for Salford's Child Friendly City incentive, Q and A's with attendees at a live scribe event or running a session at the opening of Stockport's Stockroom, social engagement has now become a part of my overall offering.
Since joining GRIT studios in late 2023 I've been able to combine these skills much more often, and I thank them for spotting new opportunities for me to do so too.

You see - full disclosure - when I'm not designing and illustrating, I'm performing and teaching. I've performed and taught comedy and improv on and off for almost twenty years. I'm also involved in TEDx Warrington. I consider myself a 'creative generalist' and have for a long time. It's a slow burn to skill up in a few different areas, but the career rewards, I think, are much greater.

Having an eclectic skill set offers a few different ways into a project. My involvement can involve helping to spark curiosity, build trust, and create a space where people feel safe to express themselves. It's not just the 'what' of a projects outcome, but finding the best 'how' to get there, where everyone feels invested.

Art can be a catalyst for change, and I see my role as helping others tap into that potential. Whether it’s sparking joy, raising awareness, or building community, I’m there to make creativity a shared experience—one that lingers long after the workshop ends.

Previous clients for this work include:

Salford City Council
Trafford Council
Stockport Council
Grit Studios
Sickfest
Stockroom
Greater Manchester Youth Network

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2024 Shows and times for...

Comedysportz

The Totally Improvised Musical

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Book at this link

Have you ever thought of getting up on stage to make people laugh? It can be a nerve-wracking experience, but it doesn't have to be. In this 8-week comedy course, we'll teach you all the skills you need to get up and be funny, share your thoughts and tell better stories. It's also a great way to meet new friends also taking a step into the world of stand-up comedy.

Over the course, we'll be looking at

• Performance skills on stage.
• Microphone technique.
• Collecting ideas and writing material.
• How to use comedy to advance your work career
• Getting gigs.

Stand-up is a powerful tool for building confidence not just on stage but in everyday life. Here's why

• Public Speaking Skills: Stand-up comedy is performing in front of an audience. Developing your public speaking abilities. As you gain experience you become more comfortable speaking in front of others.
• Overcoming Fear: It can be intimidating standing alone on stage trying to make people laugh. By pushing through the discomfort - with loads of support - , you build resilience and develop a sense of accomplishment. This helps reduce anxiety in other areas of your life as well.
• Creative Expression: Crafting jokes and comedy helps you express your unique perspective and creativity. Sharing your thoughts and ideas with an audience can help you validate your own voice and develop a sense of authenticity.
• Positive Feedback. When you perform stand-up comedy you receive immediate positive feedback and validation. Laughter and applause are incredibly uplifting, boosting your self-esteem. Knowing that you can entertain and connect with others through humour helps build confidence in your abilities.
• Learning from Failure: In stand-up comedy, not every joke will land, and you may face moments of silence. This course provides you with loads of support. We look at tiny failures as opportunities for growth and learning. By getting feedback on what worked and what didn't, you develop resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to take risks.

Overall, stand-up comedy is a great way to build growth and self-discovery. Over the 8 weeks we'll be refining your material, so you can develop confidence, resilience, and the ability to effectively communicate and engage with others.

Got any questions? Contact me here

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TedX talk, Warrington

Massive. This has been on my bucket list for years. Talking about the benefits of improv, I worked hard to learn it and get it right. The best takeaway from it wasn’t just the standing on the red dot, but how it’s helped me look forward. The version of me on stage that is confident not only in being funny but also in sharing knowledge and experience.

Art Battle Manchester.

Another opportunity to actually say ‘I’m an artist’. I’ll admit I wasn’t totally comfortable doing it, and wasn’t happy with the final piece, but it was a great experience, and something I’d like to have another go at.

Edinburgh Festival, Comedysportz & Salfunny

Great to see the Edinburgh fringe back in full swing with covid restrictions eased. It looked the same and smelled the same, but it was different. Higher accommodation fees and new ticket systems changed the status quo for performers and producers. After the pandemic, refocusing my career path, I was able to enjoy performing, doing Comedysportz and compering the Salford University showcase. All without any ego fuelled self-analysis or giving too hoots about what other stand-up comics were doing. Joy.

More Live Drawing.

More of this in 2023, please. Drawing portraits for awards ceremonies at the Liverpool Hilton, Graphic recording for to big corporate clients in Manchester, and a dozen more events this year. If live drawing has replaced comedy and I’m invited to nice hotels around the world to create live art, I’ll be a very happy person. It’s niche and I’m good at it. More or this.

Pecha Kucha night Manchester

A talk with twenty slides, twenty seconds each slide. My talk was on my comedy career and how Distance came into being, but I also got to do a completely improvised talk too, where someone else had prepped slides that I didn’t get to see beforehand. Blimey that was fun.

New clients

I can’t wait to share more of the work I’ve completed in 2022. In July I started working with the NHS, writing and illustrating an animation to help autistic people. Also in November, I delivered my presentation skills and humour workshop to the sports company New Balance.

New home

The high point has to be January though, and my new flat. Moving to South Manchester near the city was no mean feat. Manchester is an incredible city and it’s growing at an exponential rate, with a skyline that has changed along with it. When I moved here eighteen years ago it was like a big Newcastle, now it’s a little London.

It resonates all the more as at the end of this year we lost my dad. He was an incredible person. Funny, kind and always cheering me on, and he got to see all this year's successes. I’ll miss him loads. A very reflective end to a very successful year.

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Big shout out to the event organisers. In the pre-event briefing I said 'just put me in the room on the day and I'll do the job', and blimey, though it got a bit stressful on the technical front, it was incredibly rewarding. Doctor Who fans are the best. With loads of guests, interviews and panels crammed in to one day I didn't get a chance to see everything, but I did get the opportunity to meet 'my Doctor' Peter Davison which was a special moment.

I  met Christel Dee, the current online brand manager and host of the Doctor Who fan show on Youtube,  and interviewed Edward Russell who was brand manager during Russell T Davies tenure on the show. When it re-launched in 2005 it was a big gamble by the BBC,  quickly becoming  a big  flagship show, and fascinating to hear how the 'brand manger' role evolved eclectically along side that success, and how licenses were toys, books and merch were granted. Chatting to Edward, and Jamie Hill (monster actor and formerly of the Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff) we discussed the challenges faced by such a passionate fanbase, custodians of the show during it's time off-air and when fan created content strays into copyright infringement.

One thing I wanted to pick up on was Doctor Who branding, as it does a particularly unusual thing. It re-brands every few years, often with the arrival of a new actor as the Doctor, nothing wrong there. However it has two logos (one for the classic show and one for the current show) and the most current 'new' logo is always in use. Meaning that what the 'new' logo is, its used products with older Doctors which looks a bit odd, but is actually 'on brand'.

Doctor Who has a fanbase that crosses age and gender and the convention was a great way to celebrate the show's past and serve as a 'warm up'for the new series with Jodie Whittaker - the excitable topic of discussion on everyone's lips that day. This new convention will hopefully be the first of many. It's not the first time I've hosted a Who con - to meet people in front of and behind the camera - and hopefully it won't the the last.

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Venue: The Kings Arms, Salford, M3 6AN
Ticket available on Eventbrite:
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/confessions-of-a-wordpress-fanatic-tickets-50782649271

While publicising the show I was re-tweeted by Matt Mullenweg!

Make sure to capitalize the P! 😆

— Matt Mullenweg (@photomatt) July 4, 2018

Confessions of a WordPress Fanatic

In early 2017 I attended 'MWUG', or Manchester WordPress users group to give it it's full name. I met a bunch of lovely people including Mike Little, one of the core developers of WordPress. I was surprised. I thought anyone involved the creation  of WordPress must live in some kind of sun drenched villa on a mountain side in Silicon Valley. How wrong I was.

Mike was the really welcoming chair of the group, and they were on the lookout for people to give talks at their meet ups. Despite just arriving I offered. I'd been using WordPress since 2010. Despite a terrible memory I know that because WordPress helpfully releases a new theme design named after the year, every year, and I started with 'TwentyTen'. Also being a comedian I'll take any chance to get in front of a new audience.

I was prepping 15 minutes on how I'd used WordPress to publish a podcast when I realised what I had was quite funny but not very technically hardcore. Was my knowledge of WordPress enough for a tech savy audience? Was I glossing over the cracks in my knowledge with gags? Of course it didn't have to be funny, I was probably over analysing, and on the day it was fine.

I went back a few months later and a half hour talk on my experience of building WordPress websites commercially. Again is wasn't intend to be funny, but I couldn't help it. That's when I thought there might be a show in it. Sharing my feelings on the culture of constant updates, and making it funny. I've created bucket loads of websites using WordPress for all different manner of clients, but it never occurred to me to attempt to combine that with my comedy storytelling. So in a nutshell that's the new show - Confessions of a WordPress fanatic! at the Greater Manchester fringe. Not a duffel coat in sight.

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An opportunity to meet an improvise with folk from the USA, Ireland and  other countries all in one place. I've been to plenty of improv conventions in America over the last ten with my comedysportz troupe,  and honestly didn't know what to expect from this - but it was every bit as cool as I'd hoped.

We took over Newgrange Lodge just North of  Dublin with some expert teachers including Nick Armstrong, Katy Schutte, and Neil Curran as well as the lovely Craig and Carla Cackowski From L.A.

Watching improv people together in large groups is quite a thing to behold, and probably quite curious to the outside world.  We played 'diamond dance' outside in the blistering sunshine. It's a game about dance moves, but also leadership...but really - dance moves!  I could see the staff of Newgrange Lodge watching us, clearly a little bewildered and  amused by what they were watching.

Each workshop covered a different discipline.  From group work to using emotion, character and selling yourself.  The weekend reaffirmed  my love for improv and how it's a great tool for connecting and building relationships.  Improv Utopia has been running for many years in the US, but this is the first time they have organised a residential outside of the US - and it proved to be a great success.  Big thanks to all the guys who put it together, it felt like being in America without actually being in America.

Sell it! - workshop with Craig Cackowski

Links:

• Improv Utopia Ireland
• Nick Armstrong
• Neil Curran 
• Katy Schutte
• Carla Cackowski
• Craig Cackowski
• Jaime Moyer
• Chris Mead
• Josh Nicols 

About John Cooper

He’s performed in hundreds of theatres around the UK and internationally as part of the CSz Manchester improv troupe. He has delivered workshops on how to use humour  and improv in business, taking part in the BBC2 series ‘The Speaker’ and the BBC New Comedy Awards. John is author of Present Yourself! – An illustrated guide to speaking in public and building confidence.

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The regular monthly show in Sale Waterside has been selling out the last few months, with over 100 inlast month. So, March 5th, stick it in the diary and bring the whole family.

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 Gag Reels at the Frog and Bucket - Tuesday 25th October

The Frog & Bucket comedy club are showing another of their 'Gag Reels' night where a comedian gives a running commentary over one of their favorite films. I've been invited to do this one, and I'll be doing a big colourful movie from 1965 which has Peter Cushing and Bernard Cribbins in it and lots of angry sink plunger wielding mutants and a plan to invade the earth.

Expect lots and lots of affectionate digs, possibly a drinking game involving Sugar Puffs product placement, and also possibly a full re-enactment of the robomen-eating-dinner where everyone gets a paper plate with peas rolling round on it.

http://www.frogandbucket.com/manchester-shows/

DANNY PENSIVE'S MAP OF BRITAIN - WEDNESDAY 26th

I'll doing my Edinburgh 2011 show at the manchester comedy festival on the 26th October at the Lass O’Gowrie pub. Show starts at 9.15pm and is £3. More info over  on Danny's proper website

LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS - SATURDAY 29th

I'm joining the Comedysportz improv gang to do their longform show, at the lass O'Gowrie

DOCTOR WHO TRIBUTE IMPROV - SUNDAY 30th

What is says, an improvised episode, or maybe two, at the lass O'Gowrie

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Day 1 - Corby
Actually more like day two, coming down a day early for an exciting Lodnod casting and to
collect the tourmobile for an early start the next day. I've not had time to digest
Edinburgh properly, or do a new press release like I promised myself with the nice new
stars on it. No. Instead I've walked down the high streets of Chiswick for chips,
Northampton for a milkshake and Corby for a banana. It's my third support tour for one man star wars, and it's rock and roll, and this time I'm even on the poster.
The Corby Cube gig is nice for the first one back, not too rusty going from playing a small
50 capacity room for a month to a theatre, just need to get my head around the 'big
acoustics' again.

Facts about corby; it was a steel working town and has a high population
of scots who moved there for the industry. They have orangemen marches there once a year, and the swimming pool has no shallow end, and is just 1.8 metres all the way across. So you either swim in Corby, or you don't.

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How Nice. I was nominated for and award for 'Best Comedy by an Individual' at the Buxton Fringe. I did not win, the other nominants were James Sherwood, Henning Wehn and Izy Suttie. Well done to Izy who won.

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Danny Pensive's Map of Britain -

Danny Pensive is a loveable and comic character, and a delightful guide on this idiosyncratic journey across Great Britain.  Brimming with childlike curiosity and off-beat insights an hour in his company is one well-spent.

Stopping off in Buxton to trial material for his Edinburgh appearances, this is a work in progress. Changes will no doubt be made, and finer details finessed – but there is already much to praise about Danny Pensive's Map of Britain.  The charming and quirky delivery of some unusual and amusing anecdotes is thoroughly winning.

Pensive is an endearing character, easy to warm to and a joy to watch. Even this audience  couldn't help but get caught up in this genial adventure.

It’s already an enjoyable hour, full of eccentricity and wit, and an infectious delight in the everyday oddities that exist up and down this island.

- Alice de Cent, FringeGuru

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Buxton Fringe Review.
"It is often said that from humble beginnings mighty oaks grow...or something like that anyhow. What is certainly true is that pure comedy gold has been discovered in the persona of sweet and gentle Danny Pensive.  Like the most inquisitive infant, he questions almost everything he witnesses and seeks answers with a challenging purity, finding a seriously funny angle at every turn...

The ingenuity of the delivery is matched only by the gems unearthed along the way.

Cleverly written poetry, silly songs and concise entries in Danny's Diary... As Danny himself would explain, "Buxton is now on me map alongside Edinburgh. Not literally next to each other mind you, but because they both have super fringes...just like cowboy's trousers!"
A must-go-see comedy highlight!

David Carlisle

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Day 14 – Stevenage
The journey down the full length of the A1/M1 passes without incident. Charlie has taken the train to meet his missus who joins us on the road for a week.
As we walk through it, Stevenage feels similar to Dunstable, a little plastic, a little soulless. Unfortunetly this is reflected in the gig. I get a spattering of response, and someone has a baby in the audience? It's like the place has given up, the people don't allow themselves to enjoy what they've come out to see, or they've forgotten how to have fun.
Some technical issues ensue too, for both me and Charile. We do some drinking and my pasta bakes are enjoyed by all.

Day 15 – Treorchy, Rhonda Valley
Into deepest Wales and the Rhonda valley, I've been into Wales numerous times, but not here. Once in Wales, the drive is a warren of headache inducing narrow roads. Folk either drive too slow, or come towards too fast, spacial awareness is not on the to-do list here.The industrial history of Treorchy is in evidence all around. A mining wheels still stands on the road into the town and the theatre and nearby pubs display the mining heritage in their signage.

Across from the venue is the Station Cafe, a sweet shop and cafe that I'm amazed still exists. Wooden shelving in the window, a sliding glass display case filled with jars of sweets and a beige mechanical bakalite shop till – like the one in 'open all hours'. Make no mistake, this is no retro styled marketing gimmick, trying to make a fictional version of the past look cool.
I buy a can of pop for fifty pence from the spectacled lady behind the counter who wears the white and blue checked apron of a shopkeeper. I'm wearing Danny's coat, I ask for the pop in Danny's voice, I'm not trying to be a dick, it feels perfectly natural. I put fifty pence piece on the wooden counter top and she presents the pop from the fridge behind her. I have regressed, I have fallen through time. This is the real deal.
Some kids are sitting in the low framed booth seating drinking cans of coke. The windows have blinds on them half pulled so it's a bit dark. If a mod walked in right now with greased hair and a leather jacket, or a chap in a massive collar and flared trousers, wooing a girl in a mini skirt with big hair, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. It's all a bit melancholy and a bit beautiful at the same time.
“Are you from the Star Wars?” I've only just stepped out of the shop and am surrounded by about six kids. They all start talking to me at once, they've seen Rich our stormtrooper in the lobby of the theatre across the street and the combination of that and the blue bon-bon's they're all eating his made them hyper. Am I famous? Where am I from? Say something funny? Can they take my photo? Can I take their photo? Will I be their friend on facebook? (What?!) For a minute i'm weary of how odd the situation looks, as a few adults stare at a grown man in a duffel coat talking to kids. Then I remember i'm not wanted by the police for naughty crimes, and relax. Photo's are taken, we chat about silly fun stuff, then I leave them too it. They called me sir and one sticky fingered kids wanted to shake my hand. Nice kids, just looking for fun stuff to do. As a result the show if full of warmth, and is a great one.
From the upstairs window of the theatre Charlie had seen me with the kids. His photo's look like crimestoppers security camera footage.

We stay in a guesthouse nearby run by a guy called Alun. Alun is a top bloke and proper welsh. He's a keen biker who plays darts and gets the odd star name staying at his place. He once had Derek Acorah stay, but clearlt doesn't think that much of him, as he uses the signed photo as a darts score-card. Top bloke.

A mankini clad piper in Livingston

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Day 1 - Gravesend
I have an Asda carrier bag containing some mug-shot pasta snacks, cider, chicken pieces and disposable tissue hankies. London eases me nicely into the monotony of the road.  An hour to cross London? Healthrow to Gravesend? I think not. More like two. Joining us on the road is our stage manager from New Zealand, she used to work for WETA workshop (them people who made the models for the Lord of the Rings movies) so is automatically cool geek and also Richard. Richard is a super effiecient Stormtrooper wrangler from Birmingham. The first night is a good 'break-in' for all of us at the Woodville Halls venue. Richard mates turn up and they disappear, then reappear looking effing cool. One of them is a biker scout. I have Danny Pensive's coat on and in their presense look like a jawa.

Day 2  - Bury St Edmunds
The Royal theatre has an 'Ian McKellan' dressing room. Charlie is already in it. Richard has taken the 'Dame Judi Dench' room, and I'm down stairs in dressing room number six that I've called the 'Patrick MgGoohan' Room. Meeting my mate Matt in a bit, he lives outside Bury St Ed's and for a living handles heavy artillary, so he likes his star wars. It's a full house tonight, despite, the bank holiday and the Royal Wedding, of which I've heard and seen nothing. Nevermind.

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The July dates for the show are...
12th - 8.30pm
13th - 10.30pm
15th - 10.30pm
18th - 8.30pm
20th- 10.30pm
(ignore the poster info it is wrong)

Here is a page with more information

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Date's will be posted as soon as I know them.

For Tickets and offers on these show's, Join the mailing list.

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In August I will be doing a full proper show at the Edinburgh Festival. I have been to loads of places now and got a lot of stuff to talk about. The show is so big I have drawn a big map on a sheet of A0 paper, what is the biggest normal sized sheet of paper you can get before you have to go to a proper printers and order reams.

There will be regular updates here, and if you are interested then it is a good idea to join the mailing list here so you can receive the updates and also ticket offers and stuff like that.

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Home
Flew into Manchester Airport. Got a train to Burnage. Walked through Fog Lane Park onto Wilmslow road. Got a bus to Fallowfield. Bought a pie and some bread in Sainsburys. Got a taxi home to Whalley. It made sense at the time.

Went to bed. Goodnight.

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Day 31 & 32 - Belfast
For the few days in Belfast we are staying in an apartment thanks to Charlie - so we can do amazing things like use an oven or microwave. Charlie cooks an awesome steak, Kristina makes mashed potatoes, and I buy loads of ex-rental dvd's for 99p to watch, which is almost helpful. I meet up with Phil Topping who I've not seen in years and he takes me on a great tour of Belfast city taking in the town hall, the Crown Inn (where we meet some american tourists on a cruise) and the catherdral quarter. There is a church with a big metal spike instead of a tower. This is becuse some of Belfast is built on marshland, so anything really heavy sinks into the ground. Phil tells me Belfast is a new city in the last few years, and it certainly feels like a place on the up. Busy, pleasant and the venue we're in at the Waterfront Theatre is a big glass building with loads of venue spaces. We're in the studio which we've almost managed to fill on both nights playing there. Friday's gig is great, Saturdays is even better. Afterward, Phil and his mate take us on the drink around town, we hit a bar with a band playing, it is very loud and the drink is addlestones. I don't remember much after that, a top few days.

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Day 27 - Lincoln
The Theatre Royal in Lincoln was a lovely old place, and the crew were very pleasant. I was knackered so did a lot of sleeping in the dressing room. Over the tour my sleeping pattern has become very irregular. (I've just written that as 'speeling pattern', which sounds a more accurate description.) Lots more sleep of the dreamy imaginary kind, where I think I've done something, or been somewhere when I haven't and vise versa. My phone internet has stopped working, which is interesting as I forked out for the 'unlimited' package. Turns out Virgin mobile's idea of 'unlimited' is 1GB, which sounds like a lot but isn't. One of the features of the phone as sold was the BBCiplayer application, so after two episodes of Merlin and one of Spooks it's all gone. Boo Hoo - I hate you virgin mobile. Oh no, I've fallen asleep with it turned on.

Another quiet gig, but I kick a good bit of energy into them.
A far too brief stop off at home beckons, then off to Ireland.

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Day 22 - Cheltenham
Danny Pensive did his first ever closing gig here at Cheltenham race course, so I like Cheltenham, and we're not disappointed. A full house for the show and a great one too. I quick wander into the town centre past loads of fanct clothes shops and a giant bronze rabbit sitting next to a bull. A nice fast internet conection at the venue and I managed to download the first episode of Spooks and Merlin of the BBCi player, how showbiz. There is no phone signal at all in the hotel.

Day 23 - Brecon
Day one of the 'Welsh Trilogy'. Yes, we've been to Wales already twice, but this time we stay in the same gust house for three days and sattellite to the venues to gain a modicum of consistancy before the last two dates of the English leg of the tour. We head direct to the unpronounceable theatre in Brecon where it rains, and rains, and rains. Cool stuff - my cousin Seb and his missus turn up to watch the show and catch up which is a much needed respite, as the crowd really are a challenge tonight.

Day 24 - Newtown
Consistency in the Welsh Trilogy is provided by Joan and David at the Plas Canol gust house in Newtown, Powys, a 3 star establishment where all surfaces are liberally covered by Laura Ashley patterns. I don't have anytime to enjoy it, getting up at 6 and driving up to Chester for some Comedysportz corporate work, see the missus for lunch and head back. The Theatre, or Theatr, Hafren looks like it's in the middle of nowhere, like Newtown itself, but the posters of previous tours clearly show different, and there's a good crowd in to see the show. Afterward a walk in the freezing cold to a pub where they are playing darts. It is very Welsh indeed, and pleasingly so.

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Bridlington isn't a bad place, In fact it was a top night and the numbers in the show were defied by sheer volume and enthusiasm of an audience who really loved me and Charlie. Aftershow we headed back to the guesthouse for a quick drink in the front-room-converted-into-a-bar, then headed out. The landlord tried to convince us the pubs were about to close at half 10, but we knew better. We met up with Pez and Kylie, two lovely lasses who clearly know how to enjoyed themselves and were escorted around the pubs and nightclubs of Bridlington. I danced stupidly with the locals. There is video of this, will try to get it online.

Day 19 & 20 - Nottingham
The Lakeside Theatre was a sold out show and the missus turned up to film it too, so easily the best show yet, and followed by another well earned break which may only seem like days since the last, but touring days are long and transient - I feel like I've been doing this for months, not weeks. With some cajoling from the missus we took in the city of Nottingham, then headed out to sherwood forest and saw the major oak where Robin Hood did his banditry -  and we did some archery, which was well cool even though I didn't hit anything - and the archery bloke said I was one of those funny 'left handers'.I get an email from Ben - who I've not seen since university radio, easily 10 years back - who was at the show and got a massive shock when I walked out on to the stage, so we hooked for drinks and did a great big catch up session. The woman headed off home from her all too brief visit. I haz a sad. I haz a dominos pizza. and a cider. now not so sad.

New Danny Pensive video now up on Facebook

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Day 15 - Colchester
We were allowed to leave Croydon eventually and went to Colchester which is full of students. The Mercury Theatre venue was octagonally nice, and in lue of the whole town being over occupied for accomodation we  holed up in it for the better part of the day taking advantage of free tea, coffee and wifi. The wifi was free but controlled by a networking jedi master called Colin. If you are a child of the laptop generation, know that Colin does not just give out the WEP key, Colin has memorised it, and also requires you to configure your browser to access the local network using a password, so that any internet signal you access is regulated by the jedi master to block out all questionable content. Some may balk at Colin and his overly secure old school ways, but I know my data-pipe onions enough to know that Colin is hardcore, and to be  respected, standing like a bronze collosus over the mouth of the web-harbour preventing the fragile and  innocent minds of the surfers at the Mercury Theatre from seeing adverts for naughty casinos and f***book.
Good gig, not my best though.
With no accom left in Colchester, we made our way via Peterborough to...

Day 15 & 16 - Hexham
We had time to take in some history and did hadrians wall, which was visally gorgeous if you're into that kind of thing, which I am. Big vistas, rolling hills and ancient countryside - full of old people, stones and sheep. Steffan Peddie runs a gig at the Queens Hall Arts centre, as did Warren Speed and Neil Magee before him, dating back to the middle ages. I've played the venue loads of time but not the main theatre until tonight. It was bloody great too, and I got to sign some autographs with the pen I bought back in newport. Nice.

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Day 10.
I can't remember day ten.

Day 11 - Newport.
Newport has the second largest tidal range in europe. That means the tide goes really low, but then comes up really high at night like a cold watery surprise. Charlie found some plates in a junk shop match plates he already has, so it going for the set. I bought a pen. The nice techy chap at the venue looked like the man of the go compare advert, but without the wiggly moustache.

Day 12 - Blackpool
I drove the BMW through a busy pedestrian precinct to get to the loading bay parking, possibly one of the most exciting things I've ever done in a car in a seaside town on a Sunday. I went looking for a Jacket Potato for lunch while Charlie had a salad. We found a food court in the local shopping centre, but it only sold fish and chips - even the noodle bar. The Blackpool Grand was a huge venue to fill and Blackpool is a very competitive town for shows. Saying that I had a good one and met the show manager, who really enjoyed the show and said the sound guys was laughing too, and if the sound guy is laughing, you know you're doing something right

Day 13 - Break
Went home to the missus. Washed, re-packed and cooked a fish curry.

Day 14 - Croydon
Oh London, that there London. I was getting to like you but you make it so hard. You're like a really fit bird in contour pants. From afar you seem really attractive, but then up close its all squashed up rolls of fat packed into a small space, making it impossible to get around you without breaking a sweat and taking ages. Not seen the theatre yet, but a nice man did come and 'help' me by telling me to park somewhere else. There is not parking in Croydon. Bring it on.

Here's an abridged review of the show from the South Wales Post:

"This was a quite extraordinary tour de force by Ross, who used every ounce of energy at his disposal to re-create Tolkien's Lord of the Rings utilising physical prowess, a multitude of different voices, music and sounds, not one of which emanated from any other source except himself.

Watching Ross going through his paces was simply amazing, and he even had an enraptured response from people who had no idea what he was doing - which is quite a feat.

Ross was supported in the first part of the show by Danny Pensive, a truly inspired comedian in the mode of John Sparkes' Siadwel character, whom I could quite happily have watched for longer. Why this man is not a household name is beyond me: gloriously deadpan and very funny, he kept the crowd laughing with subjects ranging from Hopi ear candles and inaccurate advertising on TV."

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Day 7 - Cardiff.
No show today so we 3 happy troopers, Charlie, Kristina and me, all rocked up in Cardiff where parking was none existant and chilled out. Charlie had a TV spot, Kristina talked to herself in her room all afternoon (disguising it with a bluetooth headset, but fooling no-one), while I had laptop keyboard bother. Went to see The Expendables, which was loads of fun. Sylvester Stallone has finally found a way to sound like a profound thespian, by having a converstion with Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren is the best thing in the film.

Day 8 - Swansea
Swansea! It's easy to see a lot of Swansea due to the incomprehensible one ways system that feels like it was invented by a lopsided town planner who got a pen and paper and 'took a line for a walk' . That said, the Swansea Grand Theatre is an awesome old venue, and was awesome to play too. There was a reviewer in, as well as Charlie's tour producer, a very rock and roll chap from the London who also produces shows for Billy Ocean and Micheal Bubble. We all got very drunk and went back to the hotel. I forgot where I was and did a really loud fart in the night, and I think my arse was poking out the bed too. Charlie, if you are reading this, I profoundly apologise.

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Day 5 - Carlisle.
Up the M6 in the sunshine, and a stop off at Tebay services to experience the expensive delights of Westmoorland Farm Shops. I'll not get a 'beef growler' from the deli counter though, am trying to be good.
The Carlisle Sands Centre, a duel purpose venue that is also a sports hall, and big with it. Took a mosey into Carlisle and got in touch with Sarah Ledger, a no-nonsense ex-comic who invited me round for a cuppa. It was great to catch up and chat about old stuff. Charlie really wanted to visit Hadrian's Wall, we're back here for Hexham next week, so we'll do that then.
Tonight's show was a tough crowd, not hard to please, but hard to keep bouyant - almost like weightlifting - requiring lots of performance heavy lifting to keep them interested. Back down the M6 tomorrow.

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Yes, it really is.

Day 3 - Bradford
Got to see my folks before we headed off, which is always great, then straight down the A19 towards Bradford. The theatre is huge, with loads of posters from stand up's who have toured here. I'm slowly getting my tour legs, and promise to myself to try and eat as properly as I can for the rest of the month. Charlie want to get some silica gel packs (where the hell would you get them?) and Kristina is happy as the sound desk at the venue is a better model. I'm contemplating transcribing some of Danny's notes into a new diary, as the current one is beginning to look a bit battered now, but saying that the batteredness does have a nice worn quality quality to it, maybe keep it a bit longer until it falls apart.

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Day one - Sheffield.
Arrived early in the Heathrow branch of Avis to meet Charlie and Kristina his tour manager and pick up the 'tourmobile'. Charlie went big and got a BMW 320, which was good as it turns out we have a lot of stuff. I've never driven a BMW before, and as the licence carrying driver, re-assured both by jerking them violently in the car all the way out of London while a tried to 'find the bite'.
The first stop was Sheffield Lyceum. Got settled, went for a stroll and bumped into the lovely AJ Brown mooching through town in a dapper hat, so joined him for a bit of walking and looking. Over 400 in, it was a lovely show, and a great way to kick off the tour. Great Gig. Took the BMW home through snake pass. nice.

Day Two - Middlesborough
Sitting in a premier in just outside Middlesborough, Charlie mistakes a lifesize cardboard cutout of Lenny Henry for Ainsley Harriot. Easy mistake.
Middlesborough theatre tonight, not been there but got some mates coming. We shall see.

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This year’s Edinburgh festival is in full swing and with it Toby Hadoke’s new show “Now I Know My BBC”, an affectionate and stroppy love letter to Auntie Beeb touching on shows such as Quatermass, Doomwatch and Survivors. Toby’s previous show “Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf” received five-star reviews in 2007 and toured the UK. I stole some of his time to catch up and talk about his new show. MORE...

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