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One of the biggest highlights was playing Salford Lowry Theatre to a full capacity crowd. Nice.

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I'm pleased to announce that i'll be at the Manchester Dancehouse joining 'Auntie' Barbara Nice for her festive Christmas Cracker show on 19th and 20th December. This should be a load of fun and sell out quick, so get in and get a ticket before al the staff from the Co-op snap them up.

More information here.  You can buy tickets from Ticketline here 

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The New Danny Pensive show comes to Buxton Fringe in two weeks time!!! I'm not doing Edinburgh this year, so this might be the last two full fesitval shows I do this year. Oh, and apparently I'm on the cover of the Buxton Advertiser too.

"Danny Pensive has been around the world and wants to tell you all about it. A new show full of diaries, jokes & philosophical musings from Sunderland’s duffel coated stand up hero."

BOOKING NOW
You can book tickets at this link
http://2013.underthefringe.com/shows/80-haways

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My New show comes to Buxton Fringe in two weeks time!!! I'm not doing Edinburgh this year, so this might be the last two full fesitval shows I do this year. Oh, and apparently I'm on the cover of the Buxton Advertiser too.

"Danny Pensive has been around the world and wants to tell you all about it. A new show full of diaries, jokes & philosophical musings from Sunderland’s duffel coated stand up hero."

BOOKING NOW
You can book tickets at this link
http://2013.underthefringe.com/shows/80-haways

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I have just done an interview with Demon FM radio station in Leicester, which you can listen too soon.

Here is the information written by one of those publicity blokeys:

"After a critically successful Edinburgh run in 2011 with Danny Pensive's Map of Britain, Danny has spent 2012 travelling the around the world learning really important stuff like why Australia has a different coco pops monkey and in America, Cowboys are really just farmers with big hats who ride horses instead of tractors. He's eaten Kebabs in Cairo, a Kangaroo burger in Brisbane and pizza in Chicago Town, been to a SPAM museum and created a security alert at the White House capitol building by leaving his bag unattended.

Through Egypt, Australia and across the length of the USA - even when everyone speaks the same language, there are still cultural barriers to be broken with sheer force of personality. In 2013 Danny brings his true globe- trotting travelogue to the festival. You can take the lad out of Sunderland...but he won't take his coat off to go surfing."

Date: 22 February
Venue: The Exchange Bar
INFO TEL: 0116 2513434
Entry: £5  - Ticket No: 0116 242 3595
Link to Tickets

Door open: 8.15.pm
Start time: 8.30.pm
End time: 9.30.pm

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Last weekend I was at Galtres Festival and I forgot to take my wellies. It rained all the way there and cars were being towed by a big tractor out of the deep mud that got on my clothes and in my shoes and round my ankles and everywhere else.

The tent where the music and comedy was going on was full of people and I nearly didn't get in. There was a medieval village with loads of storytelling kings and bards and pirates. I had a pork and stuffing sandwich with real stuffing.

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New Show Coming in 2013

Work has begun on a new show for 2013. It is only in the early stages and is all about my travels in America and Australia and a couple of other places I have been that are not in England. There will be more news on this next year, but for now here is a sparkly new image that has been made to get me and you excited about some new jokes, poems and stories. I hope they will be funny. I must go away and write them now.

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 Gag Reels at the Frog and Bucket - Tuesday 25th October

The Frog & Bucket comedy club are showing another of their 'Gag Reels' night where a comedian gives a running commentary over one of their favorite films. I've been invited to do this one, and I'll be doing a big colourful movie from 1965 which has Peter Cushing and Bernard Cribbins in it and lots of angry sink plunger wielding mutants and a plan to invade the earth.

Expect lots and lots of affectionate digs, possibly a drinking game involving Sugar Puffs product placement, and also possibly a full re-enactment of the robomen-eating-dinner where everyone gets a paper plate with peas rolling round on it.

http://www.frogandbucket.com/manchester-shows/

DANNY PENSIVE'S MAP OF BRITAIN - WEDNESDAY 26th

I'll doing my Edinburgh 2011 show at the manchester comedy festival on the 26th October at the Lass O’Gowrie pub. Show starts at 9.15pm and is £3. More info over  on Danny's proper website

LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS - SATURDAY 29th

I'm joining the Comedysportz improv gang to do their longform show, at the lass O'Gowrie

DOCTOR WHO TRIBUTE IMPROV - SUNDAY 30th

What is says, an improvised episode, or maybe two, at the lass O'Gowrie

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Day 21 - Poole
Down to the South coast and Poole. I'm knackered and rock up into the dressing room of the lighthouse for a kip. In fact I kip for most of the day and don't really see anything or anyone until showtime. If I see another sandwich I will shoot someone in the face with it. I don't even remember the show.
On the way out of Poole we stop at a Tesco's 24. Look at this shelf of cider. This is Tesco's. It may look like an average selection of cider like any other Tescos's, but it isn't. You'd be surprised just how much the menu changes when you get near Somerset and it's neighbouring counties. Thatchers gold in both bottles and cans, Sheppy's Dabinet and three varieties of Cornish rattler, you'd be hard pushed to find those in the North West and North East in your average supermarket...and they're all gorgeous.

Day 22 - Taunton
Into somerset proper where I get a large flaggon of Sheppy's scrumpy that will hopefully make it all the way home to Manchester at the end of tour. In the car we listen to soundtracks from computer games, and I rabbit on about the Elder Scrolls RPG games until everyone is utterly bored, but at least I'm not banging on about Doctor Who anymore. Anything to stay awake at the wheel. I am amused by a shop called 'world of bears' but I don't know why.
The show is good for me and great for Charlie, plenty of laughs. I find it hard work, but wouldn't change it for the world. Five show's left.

Day 23 - Eastbourne
Eastbourne is lovely. It's Saturday (must hang on to what day it is) and the sun is shining, the sky is full of those guys on motorised parachute thingy's whirling about all over the shop which looks really exciting. I wander through the main shopping parade where like Manchester they have a shopping centre called the arndale, and down to the sea.

The Devonshire Park Theatre is old and lovely and we have a top show, really enjoyable. The landlord of the venue pub next door gets us to sign the poster for the show and will put it with the others on his wall. It's a thrill as I have so much affection all the British actors I see the names of on the walls. Awesome.
Our hotel is a small chain owned by John Malcovich the actor. It's our intention to look for the seventh and a half floor and climb inside his head, but unfortunetly as we arrive the lift has been broken by a dozen topless drunk stags who have all tried to squeeze into it. They all come out laughing like idiots as they inconvenience all the other guests in the hotel. We carry our bags up three flights of stairs. I want to push them all into the sea. There is a picture of John Malcovich on the wall of the room, looking p***ed off. I think he knows.

Day 24 - Southsea
It's quiet, not much is open and getting dinner is a chore as we go into the pub next to the Kings Theatre. Seeing someone eating a Sunday lunch I try to work out how they knew to order it being that there are no menus on the tables, and no specials board. On asking for a menu we get a single piece of A4 paper, with no mention of Sunday lunch on it. I go to the bar and ask if they do Sunday lunch. There's is a noticeable pause before the girl replies 'We do a Sunday roast?' Bless. She brings a friend of over to help with the sentence 'We've got Chicken, Beef or Pork, but no Chicken'. Charlie notices seating upstairs and tests them further. 'Yes you can sit upstairs, but there's no table service upstairs' came the seemingly adequate reply until we realise the kitchen is upstairs and the serving waitresses have to go upstairs in order to fetch the food down.
We have time to kill as Erin goes in to prep the show, so me and Charlie visit the D-Day museum. I don't know that I expected much, but it was a great display of vehicles and memorabilia, showing the preparation for operation Overlord and the sheer scale of the operation it's hard to imagine. Impressive and really sobering.
The theatre is gorgeous, another ageing beauty. The show is great too, and after we to the Phoenix for a pint where I get uncharacteristically shirty, then calm down (I'm just tired). The walls are awesomely covered with signed photo's and I get snap happy on pictures of Bernard Horsfall, David Yip, Sue Pollard, Tom O'Conner, Bernard Breslaw, Spike Milligan and the pub dog.

Day 25, 26 - Break & Alnwick
On the road for most of the day, from South coast to Northumberland six hours or so seeing nearly all of the A1/M1, deciding against the M18 connecting road just to be a purist. A nice meal where I eat some beetroot and cucumber, a chat to the wife, a pint and bed.
If you like books, Alnwick has an amazing second hand bookshop called Barter Books - it's just huge. I'm not a big reader and I spent the best part of an hour in it instead of visiting the castle which is also huge. The town itself is quite small but the people are canny and you can feel the history here.

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Day 12 - Break
A big drive back to Manchester and a rest. I look forward to a kip in my own bed and a fuss of the cat, but instead fix the cupboard door in the kitchen that's been bugging me for ages, then take out the bins, as all the people in our block haven't bothered. Oh how bloody showbiz. I am too tired to be annoyed and drink myself to sleep in front of my computer.

Day 13 - Scunthorpe
Scunthorpe Plowright Theatre is sandwiched between the police station and the fire station, it's small and old school and the staff are very jolly. Wandering around the place I don't know if it's me, the town, the weather or all three - but it's down and dismal. Loads of Greggs and pound shops, maybe no more than anywhere else, but they stick out more today. I get fish and chips from the BHS cafe. The show is far mare than I expect it to be, the people are well up for it, but not always laughing where I expect.

Day 14 - Barnsley
The clouds part on the way to Glossop and we have a great scenic midday drive to Barnsley listening to Holst's planet suite. Barnsley Civic theatre is a new theatre and art space, and the facilities are great. I feel really sluggish, and really need to push myself to eat healthily on the road. With some gagrbaldi biscuits and fruit from Morrisons I'm happy enough until showtime. It's 'hump day', we are officially halfway through the tour.
From my dressing room on the third floor I can see some kids hiding behind the waterfall feature, on the front grassy area outoside the theatre. I take photos of them as they appear to take drigs, see me, then quickly dash over a wall.

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Day 8 & 9 - Norwich
The theatre in Peterborough has sadly closed it's doors, we only found out days before, so two days in Norwich then, and to make up for it the prior show here at Norwich Playhouse is already sold out. On the way we stumble across the "World Famous Comfort Cafe" which appears to be a simple cafe services with a cunning name. Sitting drinking coffee and reading the paper is Wes Zaharuk, a great props comic, he's killing time before heading to Norwich too to play Jongleurs.
Our accom for Norwich feels a bit harsh and seventies, but I'm happy for the room. A hotel & conference centre, the kind of place Reggie Perrin would have stayed before his breakdown, with a brushed silver control panel at the bedside like you'd see on an old ITC spy drama. ‎"Do I need anything to get on your WiFi?" I said to the receptionist, infering a password. "A computer" she said matter of factly, like I'm stupid. I could feel the words "secure connection?" on the tip of my tongue, but they didn't come out. Upon trying it is a secure connection, in that their network does not let you on it.
The stay is made invaluably better by the arrival of wor lass, who has made the four hour trip from Manchester with some mates to see me on this, probably the only occasion I'm in one place long enough. This is where the showbiz lifestyle is hard, since the end of June we've only seen each other a handful of times. Simple pleasures like making my woman egg on toast for breakfast will have to wait till October. Sad face.
The Norwich show is awesome, a real high point so far, and the baer serves Aspalls cider too. I love it.

Day 10 - Braintree
Braintree may have been named after the wallnut tree's which grow here and look a bit like brains, but that's just one theory. I'm sick of sandwiches now, take a chance on a microwaveable ready meal hoping the venue has a microwave. Always a risk if they don't as there may be no fridge either. We arrive at the venue, great room, great wifi, great staff but no microwave or kettle. So... No tea? NO TEA!!?? WTF!.... Yes tea. I have a new supply of evil Typhoo QT instant granules and they have a hot water station. With no water to boil, bag to squeeze or milk to pour I make the quickest cup of tea in the world ever, in 6 seconds. I mourn my microwavable curry as the sealed black plastic tray slowly expands in the warmth and break out the instant mash for lunch instead.

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Day 3 - Didcot
Didcot Cornerstone is a new arts centre and theatre, right next door to a cinema. I'm upset that I've missed a load of good movies including Super 8 and Captain America, so I go and see Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I like it. The venue is a studio space, all modern and cool, and made the nicer by Emily the front of house manager, who is very welcoming and very fit too. I look at her. I have been away from home for too long and give myself a big slap then phone my woman. The show is great.
We stay in the Kingswell Hotel, built over a well where one of the previous owners threw themselves in. I'm reminded we are in cider country as they serve a rather good cider and have a great pint beneath a picture of Winston Churchill.

Day 4 - Great Torrington.
After a B road drive the village of Great Torrington is lovely and has bunting hanging in the street. At the 'Green Lantern Cafe and Bakery' I order a ham and cheese toasty, a cheese and onion pasty, a cake and a mug of tea which all comes to £3. We are back in time. Charlie and I find a map of the town which includes the places such as 'Ladies Wash' and 'Bastard lane', we try to find Bastard lane but there is no sign post at the location for it when we do and an amusing photo call is lost.
There is a lot of history here and once a year there is a LARPing event where people get dressed up as cavaliers and try and bomb the town with cannons, to recreate an event involving Oliver Cromwell and 200 kegs of mislplaced gunpowder. There is a hill outside the town which was created with body parts. At the theatre they tell me about the history and the people are quaint and a bit scary.
The show is odd. As Danny Pensive I play mostly to silence and wonder if I'm holding up a mirror too close to the locals perception. There is one particularly long silence which I play to and let hang with a simple closed yes/no question, waiting for a least one of the 150 strong crowd to answer. No one does. It remains a silence.
In the toilets after the gig I spot a swastika carved into the wall, and overhear some children talking about Alistair Crowley.
We make our exist after the show and head off into even darker boonies and the Ram's Head Inn for accomodation. The landlord is incredibly welcoming and chatty and the rooms are very elaborate. In the bar we get chatting, the landlord spots my Doctor Who t-shirt (one of many) and starts discussing my favourite television show. I happily join in until he tells me of the programme before my time when he was young, a show about a man who lived in a council house and built a tardis out of a shed he had in the back yard. What? I go to correct him, but he's insistent. It's all Erin our tour manager can do to interject so I don't go apeshit. I get as far as naming the date and time of the broadcast of the first episode before the conversation is changed to something less dangerous.
I go to bed and watch the american apprentice final. Piers Morgan has won as he is a massive ****.

Day 5 & 6 Borehamwood
A day off and we drive to Borehamwood via Avebury, a small town with a big ring of stones and a National Trust site where creepy kids serial 'Children of the Stones' was filmed back in the 70's. I walk the circle with my headphones on listening to atmospheric soundtrack music to get the full on pagan magic effect.
Then on to Borehamwood, a bit of soul-less place after the last few days. It is however home of Elstree studios where some of star wars was actually made, and they still have some big budget movies shoot here apparently.
I've driven all day and I'm knackered and hungry. Wandering back to the hotel past Elstree with a pizza in one hand and a 4 pack of cider in the other, the older surrounding building's still look authentically 50's with their square partitioned single glazed windows, wood & glass doors and big wire mesh gates leading to warehouses behind . You could easily imagine it being a big hub of activity a few decade's back, but now not so much. It's all office space and I can look in and see stressed faces buried in computer screens.

The sun goes down and the sky is weird orangey pink colour. It looks beautiful, but at the same time quite oppressive. Show tomorrow.

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Day 1 - Corby
Actually more like day two, coming down a day early for an exciting Lodnod casting and to
collect the tourmobile for an early start the next day. I've not had time to digest
Edinburgh properly, or do a new press release like I promised myself with the nice new
stars on it. No. Instead I've walked down the high streets of Chiswick for chips,
Northampton for a milkshake and Corby for a banana. It's my third support tour for one man star wars, and it's rock and roll, and this time I'm even on the poster.
The Corby Cube gig is nice for the first one back, not too rusty going from playing a small
50 capacity room for a month to a theatre, just need to get my head around the 'big
acoustics' again.

Facts about corby; it was a steel working town and has a high population
of scots who moved there for the industry. They have orangemen marches there once a year, and the swimming pool has no shallow end, and is just 1.8 metres all the way across. So you either swim in Corby, or you don't.

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It has rained all day in Scotland and I am getting wet on the Royal mile. I also need to buy new batteries for the telly remote control.

At night I saw Paul Daniels and Debi McGee crossing the road. He was wearing a panama hat.

The post Edinburgh Day 6 appeared first on John Cooper.

By the time I went home to the flat it was dark and I got lost end ended up in a place called dynamic earth which is a big white dome. I met some drunken men who were sitting in a corner and told them some jokes. They told how to find my way back to where I was going across some grass and over what I thought was really shiny concrete but was actually water. I have broken my shoes and will need to get some new ones.

On the second day I was on the Royal Mile flyering and Jimeon walked past. When I said 'Hello Jimeon' he dropped his golf club that he was carrying, hen picked it up and chatted to me. I do not know Jimeon but thought it was polite to say hello, I would not like to get on the wrong side of a man who carries an iron golf club down the royal mile.

The second show was much better than the first and there is a new joke too. I walked home the right way and found 10p on the ground.

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On the evening there was the launch party. Lots of people were socially networking in the room and it got a bit cramped. There were lots of men with long hair, beards, glasses and hats on who looked like they were in disguise but weren't.
There were one or two well known comedians and many more I did not know.  I decided it was much easier to sit down on a small stool and watch instead of taking part so I did. A lot of people were trying to be seen but not be noticed which is hard to explain but this is what they were doing. Some people looked a me as I was sitting on the small stool on my own looking at them. One person said hey had seen me ans liked my stuff. I met with some Manchester comedians and we queued up for a free hog roast sandwich with apple sauce and crackling.

Later on I got excited when I saw Charlie Chuck sitting in a the corner of a room. He is ace and I said hello to him. I will go to his show.

On the way home I saw Terry Alderton and Tim Vine talking outside a chip shop and waved at them even though they do not know me.

The post Edinburgh Day 2 appeared first on John Cooper.

The room I am staying in is a child's bedroom. There is a large woolly parrot in the corner and a bookshelf with the high school musical annual on it. I have read he annual.

I went to the venue to do a 'technical'. The room was dark and I put a chair on he stage but we did not need it in the end. I put the map up on the easel, but I have done that before.

Next I paid a visit to the team at Gag Reflex. They are looking after me while I do my show and are very nice. I asked what was for tea, but they don't do that apparently, but were happy to make me a cup tea. The tea was yorkshire tea so that was good, I had a small chocolate mars from a box of celebrations too.

There is nothing to celebrate yet but the nice girls who were made to sit on the floor were stapling my reviews from Buxton on my flyers, the well mint one's with the 4 stars on them. One of the bits of paper with the 4 stars on them came off and there was a bit of distress for a moment, but it was over quickly.

I then went to the piemaker for a cornish pasty.

Today I bumped into Lee Fenwick, Seymour Mace, Phil Ellis, Juliet Meyers and Mick Ferry. I shouted at Rob Deering out of a window and ate four savouries.

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How Nice. I was nominated for and award for 'Best Comedy by an Individual' at the Buxton Fringe. I did not win, the other nominants were James Sherwood, Henning Wehn and Izy Suttie. Well done to Izy who won.

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Danny Pensive's Map of Britain -

Danny Pensive is a loveable and comic character, and a delightful guide on this idiosyncratic journey across Great Britain.  Brimming with childlike curiosity and off-beat insights an hour in his company is one well-spent.

Stopping off in Buxton to trial material for his Edinburgh appearances, this is a work in progress. Changes will no doubt be made, and finer details finessed – but there is already much to praise about Danny Pensive's Map of Britain.  The charming and quirky delivery of some unusual and amusing anecdotes is thoroughly winning.

Pensive is an endearing character, easy to warm to and a joy to watch. Even this audience  couldn't help but get caught up in this genial adventure.

It’s already an enjoyable hour, full of eccentricity and wit, and an infectious delight in the everyday oddities that exist up and down this island.

- Alice de Cent, FringeGuru

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Buxton Fringe Review.
"It is often said that from humble beginnings mighty oaks grow...or something like that anyhow. What is certainly true is that pure comedy gold has been discovered in the persona of sweet and gentle Danny Pensive.  Like the most inquisitive infant, he questions almost everything he witnesses and seeks answers with a challenging purity, finding a seriously funny angle at every turn...

The ingenuity of the delivery is matched only by the gems unearthed along the way.

Cleverly written poetry, silly songs and concise entries in Danny's Diary... As Danny himself would explain, "Buxton is now on me map alongside Edinburgh. Not literally next to each other mind you, but because they both have super fringes...just like cowboy's trousers!"
A must-go-see comedy highlight!

David Carlisle

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Day 21 – Brecon
If Nottingham was a high point of the last tour, then Brecon was not. The town is very picturesque, the roads are too narrow for a Citroen Xsara, and the hotel offers no parking so I'm amazed they get guests considering the remoteness of the place. In September the theatre here was the smallest audience and a very odd mix with it.
As we rock up outside the theatre a load of old folks are getting off a canal boat and onto a coach decorated with images of watches and the slogan - “Mark this moment in time”. This is where people come to visit before they die. There is a rider for the show, this is a first, and it's the rider from the notes of the original tour Charlie did several years back, they still have it. I eat strawberries and a child makes me a cup of tea and brings it to my dressing room. I am showbusiness. I am tired showbusiness.
Five minutes into the gig and a geordie wearing an NFC soccer shirt in the front has a pop at me at the mention of the word Sunderland. I smell apparently, as do all people who hail from my wearside town. He should know, as he explains he courted one for several years, which I point out has probably skewed his view, and he then admits he has only ever know three people from Sunderland. Danny Pensive presents the maths to the audience and is full of win. The bloke is then lovely both he and his kid get well into the show. It's a lot better than I expected. The bar at the guest house serves Thatchers Gold cider. Hurra...zzzzzz.

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Despite being a bit ripe and fragrant with all the travelling I opt not to wash in full view. The crowd for that night is pretty broad and sporadic, a gang of sassy geek girls on one side and more considered older groups on the other side of a wide auditorium, make the show feel more like a gag tennis. There is a nice windmill on a hill on the way out, and I annoy a motorist by stopping to photograph it.

Day 17 – Leamington Spa.
On the way to 'Royal Leamington Spa', Hey Hey It's...I spot the Monkee-mobile being karted up the motorway – a big red convertible with yellow lettering. I guess correctly it's on it's way to Manchester for the concert my missus is attending that night..here they come.

We stop off in Warwick to look at the castle, but think better of it when we see the admission price of twenty quid. To be honest it looks more like an amusement park than a castle, which is fine for a family day out but not for a bunch of travellers looking for a quick fix of history.

Instead we check out the town, and stumble across a town criers competition, which I consider to be all kinds of awesome as mature men and women are dressed up to the nines in all kinds of old school bling compete in the town square with their best five. 'Workshopping' in public as Danny Pensive, I talk to a lovely chap who is only too happy to chat, get my photo taken with him and show me his bell.
Tonight is the Royal Spa Centre, the show is great but our tour manager is a bit narked that they don't lt her operate the lights, like the other 99.9% of places we've been at. I'm enamoured of the seventie's build of the place and the wide san-serif font used throughout the building – I can't place it, but it's straight out of Gerry Anderson's UFO. The guest house has wifi, and tonight I have a room to myself. I fall asleep watching 'The Doctor's wife' twice. It's mint.

Day 18, 19 – Harrogate
The second free day of the run, and the opportunity to wake up in my own bed. I had entered the Manchester 10k which takes place today, but that was a massive overreach of good intent. I'm in no state for it physically or mentally. Wading through crowds in the rain wearing just a cardigan, I don't care, I meet the missus at the end of her run and a big hug. I could fall asleep in the street. Next morning is catching up on some much overdue admin, speak to agent, speak to Buxton fringe, speak to cat, hamster and fish, then off to Harrogate. Harrogate theatre is a great venue, it shows a lot of comedy and it's a cheap thrill to get recognised by the staff from and a the last time I was here. The main stage is a proper old theatre with a great atmosphere, and it's a great warm show.

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Day 14 – Stevenage
The journey down the full length of the A1/M1 passes without incident. Charlie has taken the train to meet his missus who joins us on the road for a week.
As we walk through it, Stevenage feels similar to Dunstable, a little plastic, a little soulless. Unfortunetly this is reflected in the gig. I get a spattering of response, and someone has a baby in the audience? It's like the place has given up, the people don't allow themselves to enjoy what they've come out to see, or they've forgotten how to have fun.
Some technical issues ensue too, for both me and Charile. We do some drinking and my pasta bakes are enjoyed by all.

Day 15 – Treorchy, Rhonda Valley
Into deepest Wales and the Rhonda valley, I've been into Wales numerous times, but not here. Once in Wales, the drive is a warren of headache inducing narrow roads. Folk either drive too slow, or come towards too fast, spacial awareness is not on the to-do list here.The industrial history of Treorchy is in evidence all around. A mining wheels still stands on the road into the town and the theatre and nearby pubs display the mining heritage in their signage.

Across from the venue is the Station Cafe, a sweet shop and cafe that I'm amazed still exists. Wooden shelving in the window, a sliding glass display case filled with jars of sweets and a beige mechanical bakalite shop till – like the one in 'open all hours'. Make no mistake, this is no retro styled marketing gimmick, trying to make a fictional version of the past look cool.
I buy a can of pop for fifty pence from the spectacled lady behind the counter who wears the white and blue checked apron of a shopkeeper. I'm wearing Danny's coat, I ask for the pop in Danny's voice, I'm not trying to be a dick, it feels perfectly natural. I put fifty pence piece on the wooden counter top and she presents the pop from the fridge behind her. I have regressed, I have fallen through time. This is the real deal.
Some kids are sitting in the low framed booth seating drinking cans of coke. The windows have blinds on them half pulled so it's a bit dark. If a mod walked in right now with greased hair and a leather jacket, or a chap in a massive collar and flared trousers, wooing a girl in a mini skirt with big hair, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. It's all a bit melancholy and a bit beautiful at the same time.
“Are you from the Star Wars?” I've only just stepped out of the shop and am surrounded by about six kids. They all start talking to me at once, they've seen Rich our stormtrooper in the lobby of the theatre across the street and the combination of that and the blue bon-bon's they're all eating his made them hyper. Am I famous? Where am I from? Say something funny? Can they take my photo? Can I take their photo? Will I be their friend on facebook? (What?!) For a minute i'm weary of how odd the situation looks, as a few adults stare at a grown man in a duffel coat talking to kids. Then I remember i'm not wanted by the police for naughty crimes, and relax. Photo's are taken, we chat about silly fun stuff, then I leave them too it. They called me sir and one sticky fingered kids wanted to shake my hand. Nice kids, just looking for fun stuff to do. As a result the show if full of warmth, and is a great one.
From the upstairs window of the theatre Charlie had seen me with the kids. His photo's look like crimestoppers security camera footage.

We stay in a guesthouse nearby run by a guy called Alun. Alun is a top bloke and proper welsh. He's a keen biker who plays darts and gets the odd star name staying at his place. He once had Derek Acorah stay, but clearlt doesn't think that much of him, as he uses the signed photo as a darts score-card. Top bloke.

A mankini clad piper in Livingston

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While I am on tour with the one man star wars show I am still doing videos. The sound goes up and down and there is a bit of windy noise, sorry about that.

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While I am on tour with the one man star wars show I am still doing videos. The sound goes up and down and there is a bit of windy noise, sorry about that.

The post On The Road at Glamis Castle, Scotland appeared first on John Cooper.

While I am on tour with the one man star wars show I am still doing videos. The sound goes up and down and there is a bit of windy noise, sorry about that.

The post On The Road at Ragley Hall appeared first on John Cooper.

Day 10 – Dundee
My life could have been very different, in the early ninetie's I was interviewed for a placement at Dundee art college, and I really wanted to get in as it was well known in comic book circles as a place where some of the better 2000ad artists graduated from. I went through quite an intimidating visual assessment of my work, and I could see the other candidates were really good. It didn't happen and this is the first time I've visited since.

Strathcaro cafe services is the oddest services I've ever been in, the whole building is held together by screws and sellotape, they industrial size bags of cat litter, toys, plants and there is a full size model horse in the window. Signs are all hand painted and say things like 'We have a choice of soups'. Onwards.

The Caird hall is even bigger than Aderdeen, genuinely huge, and for our purposes partitioned for the show. It's a good show, if hard work filling such an enormous space. Charlie has a great one. Afterwards we drink in 'The Pillars' a proper Scottich pub, in the opposite room a band is playing called 'Salty Dog' and we are convinced we are being followed by increasingly bad renditions of Alanis Morrisette songs. The hotel has two different weddings going, with kilts aplenty. I could sleep for a week.

Day 11 – Livingston
Halfway between Edinburgh and Glasgow is Livingston, a small town with one of the biggest Asda's I've ever seen. Scarily big - and the whole town are in there. I've been trying not to shop at the big corporate's, but it's really hard not to when you're on the road. Not knowing where to get stuff or where places are, it's a mixture of comfort and dissapointment to see a chain store.
The venue is in a residential area, which feels odd, then we see it...

That can't be right? Fortunetly we follow the narrow road a bit further.

I look out the window of the next hotel, they are all blurring together. An ice cream van passes by playing the theme tune from 'the third man'. There was an ice cream van where I lived as a kid that did the same. Spooky.

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The Tyne theatre is a lovely theatre and there are loads of photos back stage showing you the history of it. I wanted an ice cream tub in the interval, but could not find the woman, then when I did I realised my money was in my other trousers in the dressing room and I was wearing my stage trousers.
Wearing stage trousers is advice I picked up from a proper actor who does stand up comedy. He said it is not good to have bulky looking pockets on the stage, or people will look at them and stop thinking about your jokes and think about what is in your pockets instead.I have taken this advice, but not his other advice about getting a watch that vibrates so you know how long you have been on the stage. I think it is better to know how long 20 or 30 minutes is in your head, which you can do by standing still until you think 20 minutes have past, then looking at your watch.

After Newcastle we have set off on our Scottish leg. It is a leg of four parts and tonight is Glenrothes. I do not know to to proper pronounce the name yet, but will wiat to find some who looks nice enough to ask. A man is shouting at his dog.

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I am on tour with  'One Man Star Wars'. I am doing a blog of the tour. This is the blog.It is good to see Charlie, he is wearing the same shirt as last year but he says it is not. Our first show is at Gravesend. I have met Richard. Richard is a stormtrooper. The show is good, but not as good as the next night in Bury St Edmunds. This show is proper good. I got a round of applause for walking up to the microphone. I had to explain that the show proper had not started yet.

On day three in Worcester I decided to throw away the yoghurts and chicken I have brought with me, they had been sitting in the tour car in the hot sun for three days and the foil and plastic lids had expanded so much they looked like they might explode.

I am now in Dunstable drinking tea out of a pot noodle tub. The cupboards of the green room are full of pint glasses, but no cups, so they are glass-boards. The sat-nav what was in the car could not tell us where the venue was, and took us down a back lane instead. Forunetly I had borrowed my nanna's AA Book of towns which had a little map of Dunstable in it and got us there in no time, even though it was printed in 1979. Maps are great. The AA book of towns a great book has loads and loads of information in it and I will be learning and reading aloud in the car to Charlie as we travel so we get a lot of culture as we go.

The post On the Road appeared first on John Cooper.

Day 1 - Gravesend
I have an Asda carrier bag containing some mug-shot pasta snacks, cider, chicken pieces and disposable tissue hankies. London eases me nicely into the monotony of the road.  An hour to cross London? Healthrow to Gravesend? I think not. More like two. Joining us on the road is our stage manager from New Zealand, she used to work for WETA workshop (them people who made the models for the Lord of the Rings movies) so is automatically cool geek and also Richard. Richard is a super effiecient Stormtrooper wrangler from Birmingham. The first night is a good 'break-in' for all of us at the Woodville Halls venue. Richard mates turn up and they disappear, then reappear looking effing cool. One of them is a biker scout. I have Danny Pensive's coat on and in their presense look like a jawa.

Day 2  - Bury St Edmunds
The Royal theatre has an 'Ian McKellan' dressing room. Charlie is already in it. Richard has taken the 'Dame Judi Dench' room, and I'm down stairs in dressing room number six that I've called the 'Patrick MgGoohan' Room. Meeting my mate Matt in a bit, he lives outside Bury St Ed's and for a living handles heavy artillary, so he likes his star wars. It's a full house tonight, despite, the bank holiday and the Royal Wedding, of which I've heard and seen nothing. Nevermind.

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