Day 16 – Redhill, Surrey.
Redhill Harlequin is the first 'stage-less' venue we've done. I'm sure there is a technical term for it, but don't know what it is. In the gusthouse, Richard and I are booked into a family room, with is spacous, and also has a shower cubicle in the corner.

Despite being a bit ripe and fragrant with all the travelling I opt not to wash in full view. The crowd for that night is pretty broad and sporadic, a gang of sassy geek girls on one side and more considered older groups on the other side of a wide auditorium, make the show feel more like a gag tennis. There is a nice windmill on a hill on the way out, and I annoy a motorist by stopping to photograph it.

Day 17 – Leamington Spa.
On the way to 'Royal Leamington Spa', Hey Hey It's...I spot the Monkee-mobile being karted up the motorway – a big red convertible with yellow lettering. I guess correctly it's on it's way to Manchester for the concert my missus is attending that night..here they come.

We stop off in Warwick to look at the castle, but think better of it when we see the admission price of twenty quid. To be honest it looks more like an amusement park than a castle, which is fine for a family day out but not for a bunch of travellers looking for a quick fix of history.

Instead we check out the town, and stumble across a town criers competition, which I consider to be all kinds of awesome as mature men and women are dressed up to the nines in all kinds of old school bling compete in the town square with their best five. 'Workshopping' in public as Danny Pensive, I talk to a lovely chap who is only too happy to chat, get my photo taken with him and show me his bell.
Tonight is the Royal Spa Centre, the show is great but our tour manager is a bit narked that they don't lt her operate the lights, like the other 99.9% of places we've been at. I'm enamoured of the seventie's build of the place and the wide san-serif font used throughout the building – I can't place it, but it's straight out of Gerry Anderson's UFO. The guest house has wifi, and tonight I have a room to myself. I fall asleep watching 'The Doctor's wife' twice. It's mint.

Day 18, 19 – Harrogate
The second free day of the run, and the opportunity to wake up in my own bed. I had entered the Manchester 10k which takes place today, but that was a massive overreach of good intent. I'm in no state for it physically or mentally. Wading through crowds in the rain wearing just a cardigan, I don't care, I meet the missus at the end of her run and a big hug. I could fall asleep in the street. Next morning is catching up on some much overdue admin, speak to agent, speak to Buxton fringe, speak to cat, hamster and fish, then off to Harrogate. Harrogate theatre is a great venue, it shows a lot of comedy and it's a cheap thrill to get recognised by the staff from and a the last time I was here. The main stage is a proper old theatre with a great atmosphere, and it's a great warm show.

Day 9 - Aberdeen
On the road to Aberdeen we stop at Glamis castle to take in a brown sign and some Scottish culture. It's a lovely building, not what you'd classically call a castle.A few photos then on to our destination.
I'm beginning to loathe touch screen technology with a passion. We are in apartment which has a kitchenette and two fancy modern hobs which I can be buggered if I can get working. I have to press down hard on the glass surface to get them to come on so I can cook some actual real food instead of the crap I've been eating all week. What a useless piece of tosh. When Charlie finally gets it working I make spicy meatballs. This calms me down, but then when I go to turn the hobs off the glass buttons are *****ing hot!!! Well done whoever made that, we're going backwards I tell you. Buttons are good, remember buttons? That you can press? They make a reassuring clicking noise.
Anyway, Aberdeen music hall is massive and wonderful, and tonight is a big crowd, five hundred or so. The tech's are big personalities and doing the sound test is evidence of the size. Big acoustic's for a big room, so on the night I deliver my set ever so slightly slower and get a great response, It's a good feeling.

Day 10 – Dundee
My life could have been very different, in the early ninetie's I was interviewed for a placement at Dundee art college, and I really wanted to get in as it was well known in comic book circles as a place where some of the better 2000ad artists graduated from. I went through quite an intimidating visual assessment of my work, and I could see the other candidates were really good. It didn't happen and this is the first time I've visited since.

Strathcaro cafe services is the oddest services I've ever been in, the whole building is held together by screws and sellotape, they industrial size bags of cat litter, toys, plants and there is a full size model horse in the window. Signs are all hand painted and say things like 'We have a choice of soups'. Onwards.

The Caird hall is even bigger than Aderdeen, genuinely huge, and for our purposes partitioned for the show. It's a good show, if hard work filling such an enormous space. Charlie has a great one. Afterwards we drink in 'The Pillars' a proper Scottich pub, in the opposite room a band is playing called 'Salty Dog' and we are convinced we are being followed by increasingly bad renditions of Alanis Morrisette songs. The hotel has two different weddings going, with kilts aplenty. I could sleep for a week.

Day 11 – Livingston
Halfway between Edinburgh and Glasgow is Livingston, a small town with one of the biggest Asda's I've ever seen. Scarily big - and the whole town are in there. I've been trying not to shop at the big corporate's, but it's really hard not to when you're on the road. Not knowing where to get stuff or where places are, it's a mixture of comfort and dissapointment to see a chain store.
The venue is in a residential area, which feels odd, then we see it...

That can't be right? Fortunetly we follow the narrow road a bit further.

I look out the window of the next hotel, they are all blurring together. An ice cream van passes by playing the theme tune from 'the third man'. There was an ice cream van where I lived as a kid that did the same. Spooky.